Sir Isaac Badass.

Rotten Tomatoes‘ Rotten Idea Of The Week segment always includes a few juicy insights into some future film projects.  Sometimes the Rotten Ideas turn out to actually be brilliant – I think I saw Heath Ledger‘s casting in The Dark Knight posted there first, and we all saw how un-Rotten that turned out to be.  But sometimes the ideas are truly bad to the bone – like everything about John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe in The Raven.

This week features a few entertaining possibilities which Rotten Tomatoes is saying sound like terrible ideas:

1) Guy Richie reinventing Treasure Island.

2) Isaac Newton as an action hero.

UM, those both sound like fantastic ideas to me.  ISAAC NEWTON as an ACTION HERO? One word for that: Badass.  I mean, imagine the tagline possibilities: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction….”

While Guy Richie is sometimes always hit or miss, I can totally see Long John Silver as a fast-talking gypsy boxing champ played by a one RDJ, if you know what I mean.

I’m calling Rotten Tomatoes’ bluff on this one: these sound effing brilliant.

Related articles

• Isaac “Sherlock Holmes” Newton (pinkbananaworld.com)

The Downfall of Imagination in Hollywood: An Apocalypse of the Mind.

Oh, America.  Don’t you wish you could sometimes just hop in Doc Brown‘s DeLorean and go back to when the silver screen was saturated with magical creativity?  If I’m going to spend 10.5 BILLION dollars going to a movie in theaters nowadays, it’s gotta be good.  But it’s so hard to tell what’s going to be decent anymore.  Thank gawd for Rotten Tomatoes for some guiding light, but even the tomato smashers don’t always get it right.

Maybe we’re just spoiled?  Maybe we should just expect all movies to be awful and then occasionally be semi-pleasantly surprised?  That’s the mentality I’ve tried to have as of late – kind of bleak, but what can you do when the imagination of Hollywood’s gone to shit Bleepsville.

This is a graphic I TOTALLY stole from Short of the Week.  It’s kind of depressing, but totally true.